The Neighbor We Love to Hate
The two women watched the old man lounging in his front yard amid heaps of dirty snow.
“Why won’t he leave?” one said. “He’s hurting property values.”
“Right? Do you know he destroyed all my flowers last night?”
“Who else would it be?”
“He should retire to Florida.”
“They hate him in Florida. Irreconcilable differences or something.”
“He’d better go somewhere. I’m sick of him.”
The next day, the man was gone.
Breaking News! the TV shouted. Old Man Winter retires, citing climate change and personal reasons. He plans to live quietly in the Arctic until his death.