Wilson’s Flora Mortuary Welcome to Wilson’s Flora Mortuary. Sorry for your loss. What was it? A cherry tree, 4 months old? A tragedy. They’re so fragile at that age. Here at Wilson’s, we handle funerals for everything from flowers to fully grown trees. Mostly houseplants, honestly. We can have the service here or outside. Did…
Category: Funny
2001: A Taste Odyssey
2001: A Taste Odyssey “The best part of space exploration is setting down on an unknown planet, shooting the first thing you meet and roasting it over a charcoal fire. Sitting back under alien stars and digging into some interstellar brisket, now that’s pure heaven. “Sure, sometimes you accidentally bag a sentient, maybe even a…
History is in the Eye of the Beholder
Written as a response to the Muse on Monday prompt: Write a story based around a death or funeral History is in the Eye of the Beholder The king was dead, finally. The blessedly-late Kale XXVIII had white-knuckled onto life for 116 years until he had finally meandered away from his mortal coil. Now the…
Probably a Phase
Probably a Phase “It’s a dreamcatcher,” his son said. “Ah,” Tim said, staring at the artistic horror. “Why are there chicken guts in it?” “Because it’s an evil dreamcatcher. To curse people.” It’s a phase, Tim thought. He’s going through a phase. “Cool . . .” he said aloud. “How?” “It uses a person’s possession…
My House Doesn’t Trust Me
This story is a response to the Muse on Monday prompt of April 6, 2026: Write a story about a character breaking into their own house. My House Doesn’t Trust Me I was five steps down my front path on the way to the car when I realized I’d forgotten my keys inside the now-locked…
The Off-White Showdown
This story is a response to the Muse on Monday prompt of March 2, 2026: Write a story about giving someone bad news. The Off-White Showdown I am truly terrified of this woman. She’s glowering down at me from the fitting platform, her eyes crackling like lightning on the prairies of Saskatchewan where I grew…
A Sign of the Times
A Sign of the Times I remain frozen as I watch them approaching. The board feels heavy, but I don’t even twitch. “This place looks good. Ooh, they got chili fries.” The family inspects the menu in my hands. “Wow, this sign looks so realistic.” Heck yeah, it’s realistic. Underneath the paint, I’m 100% living…
The Forces of Gale
This is a response to the Muse on Monday prompt for February 2, 2026: Write a story where cold weather is the antagonist. The Forces of Gale I opened the front door and stopped, frozen. This was not the world I was used to. The air was not warm, not warm at all. It was…
The Key to Life
This is a response to the Muse on Monday prompt for January 26, 2026: Write a story where the character finds something in their food The Key to Life I find that the key to life is to go with the flow. Sure, you can plan things out, but life will just happen if you…
Go Big, Go Home
Go Big, Go Home I was sitting on the porch at 10 am when I saw my neighbor’s teenager approaching. “You’re home early,” I said. “They sent me home.” He shrugged. “I brought a cake in for my birthday.” “You got in trouble? For a cake?” “It was a big cake. Seven feet tall. I…
The Green-Walled Treehouse 