Wilson’s Flora Mortuary Welcome to Wilson’s Flora Mortuary. Sorry for your loss. What was it? A cherry tree, 4 months old? A tragedy. They’re so fragile at that age. Here at Wilson’s, we handle funerals for everything from flowers to fully grown trees. Mostly houseplants, honestly. We can have the service here or outside. Did…
Tag: Friday Fictioneers
2001: A Taste Odyssey
2001: A Taste Odyssey “The best part of space exploration is setting down on an unknown planet, shooting the first thing you meet and roasting it over a charcoal fire. Sitting back under alien stars and digging into some interstellar brisket, now that’s pure heaven. “Sure, sometimes you accidentally bag a sentient, maybe even a…
Probably a Phase
Probably a Phase “It’s a dreamcatcher,” his son said. “Ah,” Tim said, staring at the artistic horror. “Why are there chicken guts in it?” “Because it’s an evil dreamcatcher. To curse people.” It’s a phase, Tim thought. He’s going through a phase. “Cool . . .” he said aloud. “How?” “It uses a person’s possession…
A Year in Abeyance
A Year in Abeyance I decided to take 2026 off. No social media; no media at all: just me and my sailboat meandering around the Pacific. I left San Diego on December 31, 2025. “Call if you need anything,” I told my brother as I left. I’d left my phone at home. 365 days. Warm…
Grandpa’s Head
Grandpa’s Head “There’s a head inside that.” Grandma pointed to the box on the highest bookshelf. I mentioned this at dinner, expecting laughter. Everyone just nodded. “Your great-grandfather found it a century ago, completely mummified.” “That slash across its mouth, ugh!” “And the naked lady tattoo.” The adults snickered. The kids looked fascinated. “Can we…
The Webs
The Webs The webs felt like a shriek of horror in a fetid boneyard. I staggered, almost blind with despair. Just cut one. The air felt tainted, a gaseous rot that crawled over my boots, turning everything leprous and foul. Cut one. My spirit screaming for me to run, I brought my knife blade against…
Three Inches Blueward
Three Inches Blueward I’m regretting agreeing to help my fifth-dimensional neighbor move. “Bring it forward.” We’re carrying his couch through the front door. He’s inside and it’s apparently stuck on something. “Good. Now go about three inches blueward.” “Blueward?” “Yes! Hurry, this thing is heavy.” “How?” “I’m trying to use words you know, Steve! You…
Beyond Reality
Beyond Reality “So, tell us about your . . . model,” Mrs. Watson said. The class’s attention was riveted on Kurt’s solar system model. It had 14 planets. The tenth one was a bagel. “First, the sun is a giant lightning bug,” Kurt said, “so it blinks on and off. The first planet—Klaxon—is all metal….
Strategic
Strategic Jenny and I stepped out of Giordano’s Pizza near Willis Tower, and the air shook. The top of the tower was a fireball. 9/11 flashbacks flooded me. We ran. “Who would do this?” Jenny had her phone open. “The news says it was Zimbabwe.” “Zimbabwe? Why?” Where even was Zimbabwe? “They hate our government….
The First Sundeath
The First Sundeath It was the first day. Ever. While exploring this new world, the woman noticed the sun was lower. “It’s falling,” she said. “It’s bleeding,” the man said. “See, its blood is spreading along the horizon.” “This must be the end of the world.” “It was a good life.” The sun was gone….
The Green-Walled Treehouse 