Wilson’s Flora Mortuary

Welcome to Wilson’s Flora Mortuary. Sorry for your loss. What was it? A cherry tree, 4 months old? A tragedy. They’re so fragile at that age.

Here at Wilson’s, we handle funerals for everything from flowers to fully grown trees. Mostly houseplants, honestly.

We can have the service here or outside. Did it have a favorite song? No, I suppose not. Kiss from a Rose is always popular, although Miley Cyrus’s Flowers is big now.

Yes, tomorrow works. We’ll see you then.

Tell your friends about Wilson’s Flora Mortuary. No, not Wilson’s Kindling and Mulch next door. Totally unrelated business.