Yarns for Science “Be creative,” Mom said. “But not too creative,” Dad said. “80 skeins of yarn, please,” Travis said. “That’ll be $220,” the shopkeeper said. “Plus tax.” “I hope coins are okay,” Shane said. * * * “We received a complaint,” the cop said. “About this.” He pointed to the yarn contraption. “It’s a…
Tag: humor
Maid My Skin Crawl
Maid My Skin Crawl “You killed her!” Janice said. We stood regarding the prone figure on the floor. “I’m sorry!” I protested. “I came out of the bathroom and saw a doll with glowing eyes.” Matt picked up the doll. “Well, they’re not glowing anymore. What did you do?” “Exorcism . . . I panicked.”…
First Day in the Trenches
First Day in the Trenches The first day of school was over. A group of shell-shocked first-years sat huddled together in the back of the restaurant. “I knew high school was hard, but . . .” “The twelfth-graders were huge! I honestly feared for my life during first period.” “One of them called me Fartin,”…
Everything’s a Critic
Everything’s a Critic I pick up the guitar. Eight apprehensive eyes appear, watching like I’m a toddler with a chainsaw. I’ll try Bad Moon Rising. D, first. No, that’s wrong. The eyes widen. I start again. A moan of protest begins. “I see the bad moon a-rising,” I sing, trying desperately to match my voice…
Boot Reboot
Boot Reboot “What’s this Leagz7 project you’re working on?” the CEO barked. “Seven league boots,” Brad stammered. “Unfortunately, one foot originally traveled 21 miles before the other one moved.” “Huh. Sounds like a crotchal—I mean, crucial design flaw.” “We fixed that with Leagz7 2.0. Now just the boot travels, not the foot.” “Where’s the market…
To Serve Man (and Woman)
To Serve Man (and Woman) The book was called To Serve Man. It was a cookbook. We told our Yrganian hosts that humans was preferable, but even aliens like obscure cultural references. The Yrganians were hospitable, but since most of their food would kill us instantly, they meticulously compiled a list of non-lethal foods and…
The Greens Shall Inherit the Earth
I swear that I didn’t intend to write on a similar theme as my last post: The Birth of Dandelions, written by Kazakhstani writer Anel Fuller. But when you sit down to write and a story pops out, that’s what you get. The Greens Shall Inherit the Earth We were assigned four plots, so we…
Letter Hats
Letter Hats Culture is unusual. People in other countries might look the same, but they do things you wouldn’t expect. Like a stop sign I saw with ARRET on it, but with a little hat on the “e”. I asked Camden, the neighborhood Google. “History,” he said. “They started dropping the “s” from words and…
Waterfell
This story is part of a weekly story challenge called Friday Fictioneers, where participants write a 100-word story based on a picture. Thank you to Fictioneers queen Rochelle for choosing my picture this week. This is from the Iguazu Falls on the border of Argentina and Brazil. I want to apologize for not being able…
Sapping Time
Sapping Time “I don’t see what the big deal is with GMOs anyway,” Mr. Watts said to assembled field trip. The children looked up at him, sucking on maple syrup lollipops from the gift shop. “Do you know that back in the old days, they would have to collect sap in buckets and then carry…
The Green-Walled Treehouse 