The Lexipals Program The good news was that Derek was heading to Spain for a dream vacation in a little over a week. The bad news was that he couldn’t remember any of his high school Spanish except the word bufanda, for some reason. Sure, there were lots of language learning apps, but they seemed…
Tag: humor
The Flame that Burns on in the Darkness
The Flame that Burns on in the Darkness Flame wars were harder after the Internet disappeared. James pulled the paper off the raven’s leg. “Ur a idiot and ur political ideas r stupid!” he read. James growled and grabbed some paper. “takes 1 to no 1,” he wrote and attached it to the bird’s leg….
Yarns for Science
Yarns for Science “Be creative,” Mom said. “But not too creative,” Dad said. “80 skeins of yarn, please,” Travis said. “That’ll be $220,” the shopkeeper said. “Plus tax.” “I hope coins are okay,” Shane said. * * * “We received a complaint,” the cop said. “About this.” He pointed to the yarn contraption. “It’s a…
Maid My Skin Crawl
Maid My Skin Crawl “You killed her!” Janice said. We stood regarding the prone figure on the floor. “I’m sorry!” I protested. “I came out of the bathroom and saw a doll with glowing eyes.” Matt picked up the doll. “Well, they’re not glowing anymore. What did you do?” “Exorcism . . . I panicked.”…
First Day in the Trenches
First Day in the Trenches The first day of school was over. A group of shell-shocked first-years sat huddled together in the back of the restaurant. “I knew high school was hard, but . . .” “The twelfth-graders were huge! I honestly feared for my life during first period.” “One of them called me Fartin,”…
Everything’s a Critic
Everything’s a Critic I pick up the guitar. Eight apprehensive eyes appear, watching like I’m a toddler with a chainsaw. I’ll try Bad Moon Rising. D, first. No, that’s wrong. The eyes widen. I start again. A moan of protest begins. “I see the bad moon a-rising,” I sing, trying desperately to match my voice…
Boot Reboot
Boot Reboot “What’s this Leagz7 project you’re working on?” the CEO barked. “Seven league boots,” Brad stammered. “Unfortunately, one foot originally traveled 21 miles before the other one moved.” “Huh. Sounds like a crotchal—I mean, crucial design flaw.” “We fixed that with Leagz7 2.0. Now just the boot travels, not the foot.” “Where’s the market…
To Serve Man (and Woman)
To Serve Man (and Woman) The book was called To Serve Man. It was a cookbook. We told our Yrganian hosts that humans was preferable, but even aliens like obscure cultural references. The Yrganians were hospitable, but since most of their food would kill us instantly, they meticulously compiled a list of non-lethal foods and…
The Greens Shall Inherit the Earth
I swear that I didn’t intend to write on a similar theme as my last post: The Birth of Dandelions, written by Kazakhstani writer Anel Fuller. But when you sit down to write and a story pops out, that’s what you get. The Greens Shall Inherit the Earth We were assigned four plots, so we…
Letter Hats
Letter Hats Culture is unusual. People in other countries might look the same, but they do things you wouldn’t expect. Like a stop sign I saw with ARRET on it, but with a little hat on the “e”. I asked Camden, the neighborhood Google. “History,” he said. “They started dropping the “s” from words and…
The Green-Walled Treehouse 