Working Very Remotely Mia digs her toes around the rough gravel of the beach and opens her laptop. It is 4:55 am here on Pitcairn Island, one of the most remote islands in the world. Her laptop connects to the satellite internet just in time for her meeting on Teams to begin. “Hi all,” she…
Category: Funny
Authentic
Authentic “So, no cruise then?” “Ugh, they’re just so artificial. Now, this medieval experience. That’s authentic.” “Like, how authentic?” “Oh, the whole deal. Straw mattresses, pigs and chickens staying in the same room, even real fleas and lice!” “Real? Not robots?” “Nope. They breed them specially. Plus, there are daily excursions out to the fields…
Honk vs Honk
Honk vs Honk “We could just fly over to the other side.” “And not disrupt traffic? No way. They built their road on our land, and we’re going to make them suffer for it.” “They could just run us over.” “They could, but they won’t. Humans would never admit it, but they secretly fear us….
Movie Night in Kowloon
Movie Night in Kowloon “Looking forward to having you guys over.” “We’ll be there about 7:00. What’s the address?” “Well . . . first you go to Junction and Carpenter Road and go in the 8th entrance of the walled city, heading east. By the noodle shop.” “Noodle shop . . .” “Go in 120…
The Party Exile
The Party Exile I lie in the backyard, kicked out of the house. It’s cold. I can hear the party sounds from inside. I could go ask for a blanket, but that might be awkward. I hear something approaching. It’s my beagle Augustus. He licks my face, and I scratch his ears. “How’s it going…
Audition
Audition I showed up early for the Musikour audition at the dance studio. Parkour with music, they said. The door was barred by a high metal barrier. Fair enough; I’d expect nothing less. Humming a happy tune, I scaled the fence, hoping this was being recorded. The door was locked. This was getting more intense….
The Flame that Burns on in the Darkness
The Flame that Burns on in the Darkness Flame wars were harder after the Internet disappeared. James pulled the paper off the raven’s leg. “Ur a idiot and ur political ideas r stupid!” he read. James growled and grabbed some paper. “takes 1 to no 1,” he wrote and attached it to the bird’s leg….
You Can’t Miss It
You Can’t Miss It “Stop! That’s the one.” “He said it had a green door.” “That is green.” “You sure? Looks yellow. I think it’s just a greenish light.” “Well, he said it’s the house with the green door, said we couldn’t miss it.” “You wanna go knock?” “Go up and ask if this is…
Yarns for Science
Yarns for Science “Be creative,” Mom said. “But not too creative,” Dad said. “80 skeins of yarn, please,” Travis said. “That’ll be $220,” the shopkeeper said. “Plus tax.” “I hope coins are okay,” Shane said. * * * “We received a complaint,” the cop said. “About this.” He pointed to the yarn contraption. “It’s a…
Maid My Skin Crawl
Maid My Skin Crawl “You killed her!” Janice said. We stood regarding the prone figure on the floor. “I’m sorry!” I protested. “I came out of the bathroom and saw a doll with glowing eyes.” Matt picked up the doll. “Well, they’re not glowing anymore. What did you do?” “Exorcism . . . I panicked.”…
The Green-Walled Treehouse 