The Day the Aliens Arrived The Day the Aliens Arrived When the aliens arrived, it wasn’t what anyone expected. It was just a single spaceship, and they didn’t ask to see any leaders. They tried, rather frustratedly to talk to the first people they met and when they couldn’t, they just settled in to learn…
Tag: humor
Authentic
Authentic “So, no cruise then?” “Ugh, they’re just so artificial. Now, this medieval experience. That’s authentic.” “Like, how authentic?” “Oh, the whole deal. Straw mattresses, pigs and chickens staying in the same room, even real fleas and lice!” “Real? Not robots?” “Nope. They breed them specially. Plus, there are daily excursions out to the fields…
Honk vs Honk
Honk vs Honk “We could just fly over to the other side.” “And not disrupt traffic? No way. They built their road on our land, and we’re going to make them suffer for it.” “They could just run us over.” “They could, but they won’t. Humans would never admit it, but they secretly fear us….
The Party Exile
The Party Exile I lie in the backyard, kicked out of the house. It’s cold. I can hear the party sounds from inside. I could go ask for a blanket, but that might be awkward. I hear something approaching. It’s my beagle Augustus. He licks my face, and I scratch his ears. “How’s it going…
The Lexipals Program
The Lexipals Program The good news was that Derek was heading to Spain for a dream vacation in a little over a week. The bad news was that he couldn’t remember any of his high school Spanish except the word bufanda, for some reason. Sure, there were lots of language learning apps, but they seemed…
The Flame that Burns on in the Darkness
The Flame that Burns on in the Darkness Flame wars were harder after the Internet disappeared. James pulled the paper off the raven’s leg. “Ur a idiot and ur political ideas r stupid!” he read. James growled and grabbed some paper. “takes 1 to no 1,” he wrote and attached it to the bird’s leg….
Yarns for Science
Yarns for Science “Be creative,” Mom said. “But not too creative,” Dad said. “80 skeins of yarn, please,” Travis said. “That’ll be $220,” the shopkeeper said. “Plus tax.” “I hope coins are okay,” Shane said. * * * “We received a complaint,” the cop said. “About this.” He pointed to the yarn contraption. “It’s a…
Maid My Skin Crawl
Maid My Skin Crawl “You killed her!” Janice said. We stood regarding the prone figure on the floor. “I’m sorry!” I protested. “I came out of the bathroom and saw a doll with glowing eyes.” Matt picked up the doll. “Well, they’re not glowing anymore. What did you do?” “Exorcism . . . I panicked.”…
First Day in the Trenches
First Day in the Trenches The first day of school was over. A group of shell-shocked first-years sat huddled together in the back of the restaurant. “I knew high school was hard, but . . .” “The twelfth-graders were huge! I honestly feared for my life during first period.” “One of them called me Fartin,”…
Everything’s a Critic
Everything’s a Critic I pick up the guitar. Eight apprehensive eyes appear, watching like I’m a toddler with a chainsaw. I’ll try Bad Moon Rising. D, first. No, that’s wrong. The eyes widen. I start again. A moan of protest begins. “I see the bad moon a-rising,” I sing, trying desperately to match my voice…
The Green-Walled Treehouse 